Being an introvert in this world can be tough, especially when you want to find love. I’m in the midst of reading a book called Quiet – The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain. I was first introduced to her through this TED Talk.
Although I’ve known I was an introvert for many years, this book has helped me to really understand what that means and how to see it as a positive trait rather than something to overcome. It also has me thinking about my work as an online dating photographer.
It seems to me that online dating is actually a really positive development in helping introverts to find love. We are no longer confined to having to approach strangers on the street, or attend busy social gatherings in order to meet people. It is one thing to step out of our comfort zone a bit, but it is quite another to be continually forced to go against our nature and stand in the social line of fire.
As introverts, we tend to prefer expressing ourselves in writing, having first thought through what it is that we would like to say. And now we can send messages back and forth in the comfort and safety of our own homes. We do, however, still have to step out of that zone and share pictures of ourselves, which can be a daunting task for some.
Because of my history as a photophobe, I specialize in getting natural headshots of people who don’t love being in front of the camera. I suppose because of this, I’m starting to realize that many (if not most) of my San Francisco photography clients are introverts. Often times, they don’t have tons of photos of themselves, but still really want to find deep, meaningful relationships. So, if you are an introvert and maybe a little camera shy, here are some tips to help you in the photo-shoot process.
Online dating photo tips for introverts
1) Get plenty of rest beforehand. The process can be tiring so come with energy. And, of course, we all look a little brighter when we are rested.
2) No audience. It may be tempting to bring a friend to help ease your nerves, but it’ll end up being more difficult to relax with people watching.
3) Take some time. Plan a little extra time to chat and connect with your photographer beforehand. Feeling comfortable and safe will help you look your best.
4) Know when to call it a day. When you start feeling tired/drained start wrapping up the shoot even if your time isn’t all used up. End on a high note.
5) Its OK to be serious. Not all the photos have to be toothy grins. If you’re generally pretty serious, there is no need to hide it.
6) Push yourself a bit. You don’t have to use the photos if they don’t feel like you. But by pushing yourself a little out of your comfort zone with silly faces and movement, you could discover a new side of yourself and end up with photos that you really love.
To find out if you’re an introvert, take the test here.