Online Dating Do’s & Don’ts PART1: How to Make Her Get in Contact with You

As a San Francisco photographer who specializes in online dating photos, so many of the men I work with ask me questions about online dating. One of the most common is:

“How do I get women to respond to my messages?”

My friend and industry colleague, Maya Diamond, MA, is a Bay Area dating and relationship coach. She specializes in helping guys and girls get what they want out of dating. So, on behalf of my male clientele, I asked her for her thoughts……………………………………………………………………

Fellas, let’s face it, getting that first date can be hard.  Sometimes you might email 50 women and only get a couple of responses, or even worse, none.  You see a woman online who looks attractive, shares similar interests, similar lifestyle, and if you could just share a cup of coffee with her she may realize how amazing you are.  But she is just not emailing you back!

How can you stand out from the other guys who are emailing this fabulous woman?


When you write her, mention what about her profile stood out for you.  What sparked you?  Women get excited by your excitement.  This is where you could write a compliment about her work, a picture that drew you in and made you wonder where it was taken, or a similar interest that you feel like you might have fun sharing.  Example:

“You seem great.  I love that picture of you by the beach, looks like it is in Jamaica? Seems like we both share the love of travel and nature.  Would love to get to know you more over coffee sometime.”


Don’t write a generic email that you have sent to 100 women that has nothing to do with her profile or the connection that you might share.  Example:

“Beautiful profile. I work in business advertising and would love to meet up for a drink sometime.  Cheers!”

Although this is a relatively nice message to receive, every woman who receives it knows, it could be a generic email that has been sent to many women.  Women want to feel special! They want to feel like they are the one and only.  A generic email does not engender this feeling.


To ask a dating question or for more information about Maya Diamond, you can find her online at: